Cheese Instead of Toads
by Hamaru Namikaze
Summary: Minato is a young shinobi genius, but hey, even geniuses can make mistakes! Jiraiya teaches Minato how to summon toads, but Minato messes up and instead, he summons Cheese.


**Summary: Minato is a young shinobi genius, but hey, even geniuses can make mistakes! Jiraiya teaches Minato how to summon toads, but Minato messes up and instead, he summons Cheese.**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Naruto or Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.**

Cheese Instead of Toads

A huge bush crept towards the edge of the rock ledge and stopped right before it fell off the edge. A minute later, lenses from binoculars emerged from the branches and focused on a area sixty feet below the bush's current position. _Damn steam, it's blocking my wonderful resear... oww!_

Jiraiya quickly found where the object that hit him came from and emerged from the bush while rubbing the back of his head, "What the heck was that for gaki?"

"You're supposed to be teaching me how to summon toads, not playing around with your so-called research!" yelled one very ticked off Minato Namikaze.

"All right, all right! Just don't throw any more rocks." said Jiraiya as he walked over to his bag and packed the binoculars away and then grabbed the huge green scroll that was sitting next to his bag and rolled it open on the ground, "First thing is first. You need to sign your name on this scroll with your own blood."

Smiling, Minato bit down on his thumb and signed his name onto the next available spot inside the scroll.

Jiraiya frowned at the Katakana characters, "Who's Arashi?"

"What do you mean, Sensei?"

"You wrote Arashi instead of the name Minato." said Jiraiya as he pointed at the Katakana characters.

"I did no such thing. I clearly wrote my name. Maybe _you_ just need glasses."

Jiraiya smirked, "Maybe you need to work on your handwriting more."

"Whatever Sensei but I tell you that I wrote no such thing." said the twelve-year-old blond haired shinobi, who rolled up the scroll and stood up, shaking dirt off from his pants.

"Now I'm going to demonstrate. Watch carefully." Jiraiya told his student as he bit down on his thumb, drew blood and started weaving handseals.

Then the Toad Sannin slammed his hand to the ground, black markings shooting out from underneath. Suddenly, a cloud of smoke appeared and then cleared away to reveal a six foot tall green toad. Minato stared at the pair in awe. A minute later and the green toad disappeared.

"Now I want to see you try." said Jiraiya.

"Hai, Sensei!" excitedly shouted Minato, as he weaved the handseals.

Jiraiya watched as his student completed the first half of the handseals flawlessly. However, the Toad Sannin frowned when he saw that the last few handseals in the sequence were done wrong. He was just about to tell his student when a loud high pitched wail filled the air.

"HHHHHH! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! "

Jiraiya and Minato watched as the newly summoned creature walked right up to them, still screaming in a high-pitched wail.

"HHHHH! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

"J-Jiraiya s-sensei! T-that's definitively not a toad." said Minato, who had picked up a nearby stick and started poking the creature's head, "But what is it though?"

"Poke. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"SHUT UP!" cried both Jiraiya and Minato angrily.

"HHHHH! OOOKAY!" yelled out Cheese.

"So what the heck _are_ you?" Minato asked the pale-yellow creature.

"HHHHHH! Cheese!" answered Cheese, who sucked up the drool that hung from the corner of his mouth.

"No really. What the heck are you?" Minato asked again with a deadpanned voice.

Cheese drew in air, " HHHHHHHHH! I LIKE chocolate milk! I have tonsillitis! I have gingivitis! I have dermatitis! I WANT SOME CHOOOCOLAATE MILLK! I have acne! I have tapeworm! I have mange! I have athlete's foot! I WANT FISHY CRACKERS!"

Finished with his rant, Cheese sucked more drool back up and blinked. The poor pre-teen shinobi laid on the ground passed out, smoke coming from his ears, his brain and body trying to recover from the overload of Cheese's cheesiness.

Jiraiya hid in the bush, thinking (or more like begging) wildly. _Oh please Kami, what did we do to have such a pale-yellow, insane monster appear? A toad was supposed to appear, not that abomination! I'll make Minato give up his comic book collection! I'll give up drinking! Or better yet I'll give up on my lovely research and work harder on training the gaki! Please Kami, just get rid of it! _

Cheese blinked some more and then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

_HAHAHAHAHAA! Thank you Kami! _Jiraiyayelled out in his head.

Jiraiya emerged from the bush for the second time that day and sense that it was almost sunset, he placed two sleeping bags under a nearby tree. He tucked his student into one of the sleeping bags, then slipped in his own sleeping bag, and he waited for sleep to claim him.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Jiraiya grunted in his sleep, morning sunlight invading his once dark sleeping spot under a tree. Grunting some more, he rolled over onto his stomach and buried his head into his pillow. Unbeknownst to the asleep man, Cheese's head popped out from under the covers of the sleeping bag.

"Mm, yes, I would love to go out with all of you ladies." Jiraiya mumbled in his sleep.

"I'm a lady!" Cheese exclaimed loudly, leaving huge wet smooches on Jiraiya's face.

Sensing wetness, Jiraiya eyes snapped open and he rambled off a foul mouth as he flew away from his sleeping bag.

"Now we're brother ladies!" declared Cheese.

_Kami hates me! _Jiraiya inwardly sobbed. His mental sobbing stopped, however, when the toad sage heard a rasping noise.

"Ji-Jiraiya Sensei... y-your too h-heavy... s-some air please."

The toad sage laughed and scratched the back of his head as he got up off his student.

Gasping for breath, Minato crawled out of his sleeping bag, "T-thanks Jiraiya Sensei."

"Look gaki, I'm going to head into town. Stay here and continue training on your own."

"Hai, sensei."

Once Jiraiya disappeared, Minato packed up the sleeping bags and cleared the area for his training. After doing a few morning stretches the blonde dived right into practicing the summoning jutsu.

It only took Minato a few more tries before he got the hang of it. On his last run he was able to summon a three-foot-tall toad. Satisfied, the blond walked over to his bag and pulled out a few shuriken.

Cheese, who had been busy sucking on a rock, noticed the weapons, "Ohhh, shiny!"

_Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_ thought the blond as he threw two shuriken at the tree. The two metal weapons instantly turned into a small-sized mass of flying metal, and then in a flash, they imbedded themselves deeply into the tree.

"HHHHH! I wanna try!" whined Cheese.

Minato shrugged and handed Cheese a few shuriken. _At least it will keep him busy._

The blond showed Cheese how to do the technique and then took a couple steps away.

"WWWHHHEEEE!" Cheese cried out as the shuriken struck the tree.

Suddenly Cheese made a huge mass of the weapons and fires them off everywhere in a machine gun fashion, "HAHAHAHA! I-LIKE-THIS-GAME!"

"STOP!" yelled Minato, blue eyes widen in fear as over 350 shuriken headed towards him.

"HHHHH! Ookay!"

_Oh, this is not going to look or feel good. _thought the young blond shinobi.

Five Minutes Later

"Jeez gaki, what did I miss? Wait, let me guess, hmm... I bet it was some Kumo shinobi that attacked, right? Am I right?" said the toad sage.

"AAAAUUUGGHHH!" yelled out a sore bandaged Minato as he pulled at his hair and then suddenly dove at Cheese.

"WWWAAAAHH! BAD DOGGIE!" screamed Cheese as he ran from the homicidal blond.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

"AAAHHHHHH!"

"Come on, gaki, you're lagging behind!"

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Sorry Sensei, but I can't go any faster! He keeps screaming every time I try!"

"Fine then let him go. We're almost home anyways."

Minato stopped walking and then bent down to let Cheese climb off his back. Cheese slid off and started screaming again once his feet had hit the forest floor.

"DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

_Ugh, must not kill the damn cheeseball. _thought Minato as he leapt into the trees and followed after his sensei.

Cheese followed behind closely running on the forest floor instead of in the treetops like the two shinobi.

One Hour Later

Konoha

Hokage Tower

Dipping his brush into the ink well that sat next to him on the floor, Hiruzen Sarutobi began to brush kanji characters onto a empty scroll laid out in front of him. Smoke came from his pipe as he puffed on it, examining the written kanji that he made so far. He then looked out the window when he heard a low rumbling noise off in the distance. Shrugging, he went back to his calligraphy.

Suddenly the rumbling sound got louder, and furniture and other items rattled in their places as the ground started shaking. It caused Sarutobi's hand to slip, ruining the artwork with a huge ink blotch. After two minutes of hard shaking, rattling and rumbling, the door to Sarutobi's study room flew open.

"Are you alright Hokage-sama?" questioned a wolf masked ANBU shinobi.

"I'm alright, but it's unusual for Konoha to have earthquakes. Assemble a team to check things out!" Sarutobi sighed.

"Hai, Hokage-sama!"

Konoha's Main Gate

After a two minute, earth shaking belch Cheese whined, "HHHHH! The air here tastes funny."

_I wonder why. _Jiraiya thoughtsarcastically_._

Getting up from the bench that she was sitting on, a twelve-year-old girl called out,"Oi, Namikaze! What the heck did you feed that thing? I think that thing had started an earthquake, dattebane!"

"What are you doing here, Kushina-chan?" Minato asked the approaching red-headed girl.

"Waiting for my team to get here. We just been assigned another C-ranked mission. So where have you been?"

"Been training for a few days with Jiraiya Sensei."

"So what about that thing?" asked Kushina, pointing over at Cheese, who was busy scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

Scratching the back of his head, "Hehhehheh, I was learning the summoning Jutsu and instead of a toad... he appeared." Minato said, grinning.

Cheese appeared between the two young shinobi and yanked on Minato's black pants and waved a scrap of paper at him. Cheese excitedly pointed at the paper and then at Minato and Kushina.

The blond took the scrap of paper, a patch of red appearing across his nose and cheeks as he read it to himself, "I can't say this!" he hissed at Cheese.

Cheese whined when Minato shoved the paper back.

"Say what?" asked Kushina.

"HHHHH! TINKLE, TINKLE IN A CAR, YOU SHOULD REALLY USE A JAR!" sang out Cheese before Minato could say anything.

Kushina stood still, eyes closed. Her eyebrow twitched and _everybody_ could feel the waves of anger that started rolling off of her.

Embarrassed, Minato wished that he could have shrunk and blended into the scenery, "L-look! I'm sorry Kushina-chan!"

"WHY YOU NAMIKAZE TEME! YOU AND YOUR SUMMONED CREATURE ARE A REAL PIECE OF WORK, DATTEBANE!" screamed out Kushina, punching the living daylights out of Minato and Cheese.

"WWWHHHEEEE! I-GOT-HIT-BY-A-PINK-FLAMING-BUUUNNY!" wailed Cheese.

"Owwwwww! What did I do?" whined Minato.

Kushina grabbed the front of blond's light blue hoodie and shook hard "'WHAT DID I DO', YOU DARE ASK! SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A GIRL! YOU DAMN TEME!"

"I-it w-wasn't me! It w-was Cheesy boy here that said it!"

Kushina dropped the blond and turned to leave, " Tch, fine!" she growled.

Suddenly the mentioned cheesy boy ran past Minato and flew into the air, heading towards Kushina.

"I-GOT-A-CARROT!" cried out Cheese in a sinister voice, as he pulled out a carrot from nowhere and started making stabbing motions.

Confused both Jiraiya and Minato cried out, "Where did he get the carrot?"

Kushina turned around, her green eyes turning red, and her voice matching Cheese's sinister voice, "I-GOT-A-KYUUBI!"

The area fell deathly silent as three pairs of eyes watched as Cheese landed right in front of the Uzumaki girl.

Cheese looked up and stared into her red-slitted eyes, "HHHH! I pooted!" he whispered.

The area continued its deathly silence for quite some time until the arrival of three shinobi.

"Hey, Kushina! It's not nice to pick on a boy who has a major crush on you!" a black-headed girl giggled loudly.

Blushing even more, "Mikoto-san!" whined Minato.

"Besides, we have a mission that needs to be done." Mikoto Uchiha added.

Kushina turned away from Minato and Cheese and followed her team. Minato stood up and brushed his clothes off and glanced at the empty gateway that Kushina's team had just gone through.

"You just _had_ to develop a crush on a girl that is hard to get, didn't you gaki."

Minato pulled up the hood to his hoodie and ignored his sensei as he headed off in the direction of his home. Cheese opened his mouth to say something, but the blond spoke up first.

"Go home!" ordered Minato.

"HHHH! Oookaay!"

Jiraiya and Minato watched in puzzlement as Cheese ran in the direction of the Hokage's tower and not instantly puffing away instead.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

Sarutobi sat behind his desk and turned to the next page of the book that he held. Fifteen minutes ago, an ANBU squad reported their earthquake findings and then he finished a stack of paperwork. With that done, he pulled out a book from his desk drawer and started reading. Enjoying the rare-spare time, Sarutobi turned another page. Too absorbed in his book, Sarutobi failed to notice Cheese slipping into the office until his book was roughly taken from his hands.

"Hey!" Sarutobi cried out.

Cheese raced out the door holding the orange book high over his head. A blushing Sarutobi chased after Cheese, trying to get his book back.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~

"HAHAHAHA! OKAY, BYE DOGGIES!" screamed Cheese as he ran towards the Main gate of Konoha holding a orange book over his head.

A few feet behind, Sarutobi chased after Cheese, narrowly avoiding two people. The two people stopped walking.

"Hey, Jiraiya Sensei?"

"Yes gaki."

"That was Cheese who ran by, right?" asked Minato.

"Yep" Jiraiya answered.

"That was also a blushing Hokage chasing after him, right?" questioned Minato.

"Yeah" Jiraiya answered slowly.

"And that was one of your orange Icha Icha books, right?"

"Really?"

END


End file.
